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 Resources From the Pastor
From the Pastor
June 2004
Child of God, you have been sealed by the Holy Spirit, and marked with cross of Christ
forever. -- Service of Holy Baptism, Lutheran Book of Worship, p. 124
I am not a particularly sentimental person. I do not hold on to greeting cards or letters or
other such things for long periods of time. I have many pictures and books that are important
to me and some other items that are special (things people have made for me or given to me, for
example), but in general, I hold no real nostalgia for things.
Nonetheless, I am having a hard time parting with a certain piece of clothing. Not long ago,
I noticed that one of the black shirts that I wear with my clerical collar needs to be "retired."
The material has gotten very thin and somewhat faded, and the area around the buttons is even
starting to fray and tear. The holes in the collar for the buttons that hold my clerical collar
on (Yes, for those of you who wonder, there is a super-secret pastor way of attaching them!)
have gotten too stretched to do the job well. The shirt needs to go, and I need to purchase a
new one. But I hate to do it.
It is not the purchase price or the trauma of trying to find a shirt that fits a woman pastor
well that makes me reluctant. In this case, it is the fact that this particular shirt is the
very first one of its kind that I ever purchased. I purchased it at the Lutheran School of
Theology at Chicago at the end of my first year, as I was getting ready to do my summer-long
hospital chaplaincy (Clinical Pastoral Education or CPE) at Northwestern Memorial Hospital.
After I bought the shirt, I hung it on a hanger in my apartment and stared at it for a while
before I could get myself to put it on. When I did finally put it on, I stared at myself for
a while in the mirror, trying to find a way to ease myself into the process of finding my
pastoral identity. I even shed a few tears in the process, because I realized that life was
going to be different from that moment on.
The shirt is special because it represents for me, on some level, the very fabric of my life
in the Church. The shirt has seen me through traumatic moments on CPE, through internship,
through my ordination, through weddings, through baptisms, through funerals, through
confirmations, through hospital visits, and through various public functions. I have preached
Sunday sermons, Christmas sermons, Lenten sermons, and Easter sermons in that shirt. I have
other black clergy shirts, to be sure, but this one is special. The shirt has served a dual
purpose: it has helped others to know what my vocation is, and at times it has helped me to
be more secure in my role as a pastor of the Church. It has been a clear sign of who I am and
of who God has called me to be in my specific role in the Body of Christ.
It occurs to me, however, that as much of a sign of my life of faith and my own form of
discipleship this shirt has been, it pales in comparison to the mark I bear on my forehead,
the sign of the cross that each of us received at Baptism. It is this mark that truly
defines and identifies us—as children of God and inheritors of the kingdom of heaven.
That mark will never fade. It will never be changed or rubbed off. It is the indelible mark
of God, and while it may not be visible, it is very much present, and it claims each of us
as one of God's beloved children, as people who have gifts and abilities that can and should be
used for the building up of the Church and the spreading of the Gospel. How blessed we are to
have such an indelible mark that claims us as God's own! How good it is to know that it will
never be taken away.
I think I will keep at least a part of my shirt as a reminder of what the ordained ministry
has meant for me so far. But I hope to remember that it is the mark on my forehead that
really defines who I am!
In Christ,
Pastor Brenda
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